By Julie Charles

THE quest for happiness is as old as the human race, and that great quest still continues even in today’s world. It is therefore indeed unfortunate that far too many of us seek happiness in the most superficial of things, but still failing to recognise that only we can measure our own level of happiness. Happiness is a feeling or showing pleasure or gratification. The question then must be asked how one arrives at such contentment. 

It is believed by most spiritual gurus that true lasting happiness is seen as a journey and not a destination. It must always be noted that there is no universal happiness.  Happiness is an individual decision and that decision differs greatly from person to person. Being happy does not mean that everything is perfect. It simply means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections and be content. Some persons believe that great dreams of money, finding the right person to settle down with, success in the business world, popularity or fame, religion, or vast fortune are the keys to happiness. These factors may assist in the realisation of happiness for some short period of time but if there is no conscious effort to be grounded then the opposite of these factors can spell doom.  We, as human beings, must understand that we are solely responsible for our own happiness.  No one or nothing can truly make us happy as it is up to us to decide what our priorities are and how they will aid us in achieving a level of contentment. We tend to forget that happiness does not come as a result of getting something we do not have, but rather from recognising and appreciating what we do have.

As such, we need to examine ourselves as to what make us happy. We have to pay attention to the little things in our lives that we should be happy for, and not reflect solely on life’s many failures.  We have to decide to enjoy our journey and find happiness in the simplest of things regardless of the hardships we might face. The journey to happiness is a pilgrimage that is rather rough and tough, and although there are times it might appear quite daunting a task, the trick is to continue on the journey regardless of the obstacles.

Throughout my life, there have been periods when I was deliriously happy and devastatingly sad, however the valuable lesson learnt was that in order to find true contentment I had to strike a balance between extreme happiness and extreme sadness.  Life is about extremes and happiness and sadness are polar opposites and none can exist without the other. It is our ability to find balance between these two extremes that will allows us to be contented with our lives and find “true happiness”. No other person should control your ability to be happy. If you ever allowed anyone to exercise that kind of power over your happiness then you will never find true contentment. Happiness can be found in the beautiful morning fragrance, the rising or the setting of the sun, the smile on that special someone’s face, getting that expected grade after working so hard at studying, the compliment you just received from someone who has been admiring you from afar, and the softness of your pillow as you lay your head to rest at night. 

Happiness is nestled deep within the human soul and appears when it is called. I have known many a poor man/woman who had no idea where their next dollar would come from but they had a peace and contentment about them that appeared on their faces and you knew just by looking at them that they were happy. On the other hand, there are persons I have known who would be considered to be wealthy, but they are the most unhappy, miserable, and disagreeable humans to walk the earth.

Happiness is not something you can touch; it is a feeling in your heart that all is well with your world despite the occasional setbacks. Man is fond of counting his troubles but he does not count his joys. If he counted his joys’ as he ought to, then he would see that he had more than enough happiness provided for him. In reading this, I was reminded of a recent incident that caused me to smile despite the calamity. I went out to a dance and of course being taught by my mother to walk with “vex money” I ensured that I was fully covered. During the course of the night, I happened to go into my pockets and realise that my money had somehow mysteriously disappeared. At first, I was upset but then a thought came to me and I realise that it could have been that I had lost my cell phone or my car keys instead of the money, which would have been a far worse scenario. In that thought, I smiled that it was only the money that had I lost. I simply smiled and continued to enjoy my night. In recounting the incident to friends, they looked at me as if I was crazy because I showed no signs of being upset.

My comment to that is life is far too short to get upset over the lost of something like money. We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different yet we share similar experiences. We all have dreams, aspirations, and struggles but it is in the degree where the differences lie. Happiness is a personal choice. It is up to you if you choose to be happy. No one can do it for you and you cannot rely on anything or any person to assist you in your happiness. We are given only one chance at life. Is it really worth it through the precious gift of life not knowing happiness because your “dreams” did not come true or you have not achieved your ultimate goal?  We must look around us and see the things in our lives that make us smile and feel any level of contentment. I am happy for life, health and strength, the endless possibilities for me to grow, develop and learn, my family, my ability to think, feel, love, understand, show compassion, and give counsel when needed to anyone in need. I am happy that I have the best friend that I have. She has been my best friend since primary school and she would move the world for me. Knowing that she truly knows the real me without the walls and despite my moods makes me happy that someone in this world gets me. I am happy for my male friends; they keep me grounded, informed, and alert. I am happy that I am brave despite the many pitfalls I have encountered. Most of all, I am happy to be who I am.

To find “true happiness” you must learn to make yourself smile, learn that it is okay to be happy or content no matter your situation or station in life. For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family and friends, then the chances are that you are not going to be very happy. If someone bases his/her happiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person is not going to be happy much of the time.  If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.