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| Norma Ross |
As we view the increase of violence and aggression across the world and in our youth, one area for parents, educators, and community leaders can influence is how the next generation will make "Choices." Decisions in life come down to choices, and we need to be mindful at how we influence our youth and their ability to make good choices versus bad choices. Often children are reactive and do not make clear choices due to their feelings, they simply react.
Choices: Yes we need to look at the issue of teaching children that life is full of "Choices" and these choices will ultimately determine the quality of life they lead. Referring to people they know who have made wise choices, is a way of introducing the issue.
First we need to look at our own choices as parents and how we are going to model proper decision making so that our children see this example of positively modeled behavior. When children start to show aggressive behaviors, we must set limits, have consequences in place so that the child can stop the behaviors and make good choices. Children need boundaries and limits to help them make the right choices. Rewards for good behaviors and acknowledgement of good grades can help children feel positively about themselves, which ultimately leads to their making better choices.
At every stage of development, though the issues are different, parents will still deal with imparting the notion of choices to their children. Parents have to make "Choices," and often difficult ones; deciding what behaviors to deal with, what behaviors are age appropriate behavior, what behaviors to ignore, what behaviors to use as a consequence or even more difficult what we behaviors we need to find adequate punishments so that the behaviors do not lead to trouble for the child.
The choices we make at each stage are vital. Distracting the younger child is often a way to deal with issues. The choice to use a stern voice is often enough for the younger child to hear. The parent needs to decide when they will be stern and sometimes when they need to be harsh.
When we are not happy when they act with disrespect to a teacher or at home or to friends, the parent must discuss the issues of respect and values because this will affect the "choices" their children make. The word "Choices" should be introduced early in the child's life.
Children can be taught simply that when they make a choice to do something that is a behavior that they know is dangerous the "choice" can change their life forever.
Children can be taught that treating others well is a choice. When we are young, taking drugs is a choice, drinking is a choice, smoking is a choice and dangerous choices at that.
In order for our children to have successful lives we must help them to make wise decisions and when they make a poor one we must help them look at the decision, why they made it and what would have been a wiser decision. They can try to make a better one next time since our lives are full of decisions. Every decision counts. It is always a parent's hope that a poor decision will eventually lead to a better one with education and parental involvement.
