A MAN IS STILL A MAN
"...whether he wear jacket and tie or he walk barefoot
The only difference is whether him good or evil."
...Morgan Heritage...
As we lazed on a bench in Phillipsburg St. Maarten, I looked up and saw a man in his overalls, smile plastered on his face, singing and sweeping the sidewalk. I turned to Ivan and said "Hey Hon, I know that you are going to give me the "Sweetie you think too much we are on vacation bit...please relax..." but you know what, do you ever realize how we tend to judge people by the work they do, the positions they hold, how much money they make, the type of family they come from, their addresses, whether they are formally educated or not and even by how they dress; as if all of this is who the person really is or as if these things would make one person a better individual than the other or make that persons life appear to be worth more than the other."
I continued, "Do you realize that based on these things we treat people differently. The man who appears to have more tangible worth or a "position" in society is afforded more respect just because...but for all you know he could be one of the meanest, most manners less, most unapproachable, most despicable persons on earth while this gentleman who is sweeping the street may have the most beautiful soul but we may not know it because...we don't take the time to get to know this gentleman and learn his story. Everyone has a story to tell...Everyone.. Everyone has something that he or she can teach us as well so we should be open. We should listen. We should be courteous. We should be respectful. Everybody's life is valuable." I continued, "Do you realize how we will quicker say a bright good morning or be more obliging to the former than the latter just because...and this I just can not comprehend. I really do not. Aren't we all equal?"
I sighed and thought, "Isn't life something?" The cogs in my head began turning a mile a minute, and as I thought, my heart grew a bit heavy because I think that a man should be judged as Dr. Martin Luther King said by the content of his character and by nothing else. A man's worth, his place in society or the way in which he is treated should not be based on any superficial thing. It just shouldn't be. I am sorry but I am somewhat preoccupied with human nature. There are so many things that I have yet to understand and I refuse to accept the old adages of "that is the way the cookie crumbles, you live and let live." I refuse to swallow "that's the status quo or it is the pecking order" or all of those self-ingratiating words we use to explain the way "society functions.
" I am tired of hearing, "it's a dog eat dog world...you must have some people up there and some people down there&that is the way the world works." Even if some believe in that premise, what I am asking is that irregardless of the societal dynamics; shouldn't everyone be afforded simple courtesy and respect? Shouldn't everyone be made to feel as if he is a whole and not a half of society? Shouldn't everyone be made to feel as if his or her life has some worth? I think that at times we fail to realize the magic a little hello or smile does for one rather than the up turn of the nose and the old adages of things like people should know they class or place.
The other day while at a social gathering, I was introduced to what appeared to be a rather impressionable young lady. Upon introduction she barely wanted to shake my hand. She gave me one of those limp, finger, oh my God don't touch me, you may be diseased handshakes. I said, "Oh well she spirit must be aint take me, you know!" I laughed it off. A little later in the evening I was shocked when I saw her approach me, grinning from ear to ear, rather affable I might add, no sign of that Ice Princess I met earlier. She said in a little "birdy" voice, "I had no idea you had a master's degree and in Politics at that, had I only known, but you can understand because you don't look it"... and she gave a little embarrassed laugh. Eyebrows raised and being the frank person that I am, I responded, "Excuse us. I am sorry.
Did I hear you correctly? Tell me something, what does that have to do with the price of cheese in London? I don't see the relevance of any of that. When we were introduced I was quite cordial and you literally turned your nose up at me, now all of a sudden I am somehow more interesting and worthy of your company? Tell me why? I don't deal like that eh. It doesn't work like that here sister, not here. Had you taken the time to get to know me you would have possibly discovered that somewhere, as a by the way thing, because my degree doesn't personify me. I am a person first and foremost who deserves to be treated with respect. By your earlier actions and I do apologize if I misread you...you are saying that you gave me the "you are not worthy to be in my presence vibe...scat...be gone with you..."and there I was thinking it was just simple case of your spirit not taking mine... Girl you need a lil looking after..." I couldn't help but laugh, shake my head and walk away. I thought, "Some people eh boy, well, well, well."
It is these little nuances that make me question this whole thing. I am not saying that one has to be all "pally pally" with everyone or that one should not be selective in choosing friends what I am merely saying is that we should afford people, the people that we meet or come into contact with in our everyday lives with a little courtesy and respect. I am certain that some of us may have had appointments/business engagements at one point in time or the other and when we enter the office/business place and greet the receptionist/person we are meeting with, because we don't look the part or fit the bill we either get neglected or a little roughing up and then... when we finally identify ourselves we get the same embarrassed laugh that the Ice Princess gave me.
My aunt used to say, "I could be the Queen of England for all she knows and she going on so!" This means you do not know who people are because some people don't go around wearing their titles on their foreheads but in retrospect should this really matter? It leads me back to my point everyone should be treated as a person of worth. I say spare yourself the little grief treat everyone with respect. Treat everyone as if he or she is important. Don't walk and turn up your nose at people. Don't try to make others feel like they are less than, as if they are the plebs and you the patrician.
Upon meeting someone for the first time several questions are asked. After one has gotten the formal introduction out of the way we move on to so what do you do for a living? Isn't the fact that I work for a living enough? Shouldn't that say something? I often wonder why can't the questions be, do you consider yourself a good person? Would you say you are a good friend? What are your interests?
I often listen keenly to people when they describe their relationships as well. They begin by saying, "Oh my John is a...or he did this... he achieved that...he bought me..." I often smile to myself and depending on the level of closeness I normally ask, "so how does he treat you? Apart from all that, in general what type of person is he? What about him do you like? How does he make you feel?" I often get stunned expressions. I ask however, aren't these the key or most important attributes? Aren't these attributes that one would be proud to share rather than he or she is...
Parents do it as well too. I have a friend her name is Yolanda Wilson and when I hear her talk about her daughter Konje and son Atiba I smile because the first thing she says when she describes them is that they are good people and that she is proud of the individuals that they have grown up to become. If you pry really hard then she would tell you about the other things such as their accomplishments but you would have to pry because she would tell you about the thoughtful things they do that makes them such good persons. It is so refreshing to see that a mother would say that her children are first and foremost good people rather than telling you at first breath how many subjects they have passed or what degree they have or where they working not that I am saying that something is wrong with that because one should proud. I am just saying that that alone does not define the individual. I am just saying that at the end of the day that is not the most important attribute.
We should give everyone a fair chance. We should realize as aunt of mine used to say, "that everybody is somebody's child," so he or she should be afforded the utmost respect. We should realize that no one's life is more valuable than the other...This is a simple premise. We should not discriminate against or ostracize people because they don't fit into what we think is our realm or societal tier, whatever that may be! Look into people's hearts, don't judge or assess them by any superficial thing. If you have to judge do this based on the content of that man's character as Dr. Martin Luther King said.
And always, always, always, Remember ... A MAN IS STILL A MAN...
