By Mutryce A. Williams
New Year’s Day is such an anticipatory time. On New Year’s Eve we just can’t wait for that clock to strike twelve. It is a time of hope. There is this precept that somehow we would be totally transformed, made whole, become anew. We shout, “New Year, New Rules! The Old Year; Man that was for Fools!” It is that time of year when we reflect upon our lives. We do soul searching. We do spring cleaning. We take out pen and paper and write down our list of "friends I need to keep and friends I need to discard", because somehow this year is definitely going to be different. This year is going to be a year of no baggage and for the last few days of 2009, we have Mary J. Blige’s song, “No More Drama in my Life,’ on repeat as a source of reinforcement and strength. It is also the time of year that we hear the preacher joke at the end of his sermon wishing many a Happy New Year and a Merry Christmas because he knows that he won’t be seeing some of the congregation until the next year. We hear people saying, “Boy you need to stop drinking so hard,” or “you need to lose some weight.” The response is often, “I going do it next year man, that is one thing that is on my list of things to do.”
Every year we set lofty New Year’s goals, resolutions or plans. We write them down, type them up even, have them laminated and posted on our walls. We carry them around with us and vow to the heavens that these goals will not get the better of us. We will get the better of them. We vow to make changes to our personalities, to our bodies and to our relationships with family and friends. We aspire to change jobs, get that promotion, and seek additional education, certification or take a self-development course. We hope to realize dreams of home or car ownership. It is our aim to save more and spend less.
We plan to travel more, loosen up and not take life too seriously. We plan to give more of ourselves to the service of others. We vow to give our hearts and lives to the lord. We tried really hard last year but we ‘backslid,’ as life and its many temptations got in the way. We really did try but we just couldn’t keep it up. We have decided that God has really been good to us this past year so 2010 will be his year for sure. We are determined and focused. We say that we are going to go to church more. It is our goal to take off that old coat and put on the new. It will all start on New Year’s Eve when we attend church to thank God for ‘sparing us another year,’ as we like to say it.
If it is anything that 2009 has taught me it is that life is totally unpredictable and although I am a firm believer in the credence that ‘Man is author of his destiny.’ There is only so much that we mere mortals have within our control. I am not just alluding to Murphy’s Law, which states that ‘anything that can go wrong will go wrong.’ I am alluding to the fact that we can not control everything that happens to us. Life has a way of taking over sometimes.
The goals of weight loss, attitudinal changes, spirituality, being a go-getter are all ‘well and good’ but how many times have we found ourselves at the end of one spectrum even though it was our goal or our desire to go in the next. How many times have we made plans which were dependent on several other factors but because one of these variables did not fall in place our plans fell through? How many times have we found ourselves in situations, faced with several options and remarked, “But this was never part of the plan. This was not supposed to happen…this isn’t how I planned it.” How many times have we, whether it was out of tears of pain or joy asked ourselves, “How did I ever end up here?” How many times have we blurted out, “this was totally unexpected, believe me it was!” These things happen however as humans we have to be open to change. Adaptability is necessary. Embracing the many twists and turns that life may toss us is key.
How many times have you, even if you share the conviction that one controls his own destiny, how many times have you been awed by the twists and turns that life takes? I can recall a conversation with a friend who had been diagnosed with cancer. She remarked, “Everything that I have ever wanted in life, I have toiled, sweat and worked hard for. I have earned. My current disposition however has taught me that there are forces greater than I am, forces beyond my control, that there are forces beyond my will.” She went on to say, “I have a positive outlook on life and I am doing all that I can to beat this but it may sound odd because at the same time I have learnt to let go and accept that it is not that my will be done but rather that His will done and I am at peace with this.” This has stuck with me. As mere mortals we need to be humbled by life and realize that there are forces greater than us at work and we need to have faith in something greater than ourselves.
Whatever 2010 may bring and whatever your goals, aspirations or resolutions are I hope that it brings you the best of health and happiness. As you greet that fellow churchgoer on New Year’s Eve or raise your glass in toast as you ring in the New Year or lay snuggled on the couch watching the ball drop in Times Square with a smile plastered over your face, be certain to give thanks for all of the good things that happened the past year and the bad things that didn’t. Give thanks for the courage and strength given that assisted you in persevering. Look forward to each day that will be given you, as you must not be naïve, thinking that the days are yours to take or that they are guaranteed. Remember to love those you love best and be kind to each person that you meet not just for a day or week but make this a permanent part of your fiber. Remember too that you are not immortal. Smile and Brace yourself for 2010 because life is unexpected. Whatever twists and turns or blows that you are dealt be prepared to roll with the punches, have faith and don’t let the troughs of life get the better of you. Have a great 2010 and just be humbled by the gift of life.
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