BASSETERRE, St. Kitts – IF a thief breaks into your home, you probably would report it to the authorities; and if someone shoots you or a loved one, you are most likely to report that as well and seek medical attention. You would also hope that the person(s) who launched these attacks upon you and or your loved one would be brought to justice…swiftly.
What about if you were raped? And what if that rape were committed by someone you trusted and for whom you had the utmost respect, would you have difficulty reporting the incident?
This publication spoke with two young ladies who suffered the indignity of the unfortunate ordeal; one being raped once and the other twice. They did not report their assaults – for reasons which will be explained - and now regrets permeate their minds.
“I was about 17 or 18 years of age and I was in a particular village. I was close to the person’s home and I was talking to them. I wanted to urinate so I asked the person if I could please use the bathroom. They told me I could. So I went and I used the bathroom and when I came out he held me down and raped me. I remember thinking, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’
“I did not report it because of a number of reasons. The first thing people were going to ask is what I was doing in his house. Also he is a police officer so I didn’t believe that people would believe me. And that is what he told me over and over again…‘No one would believe you.’ I made the decision to just leave it at that and I told no one. He never spoke to me after that. We never spoke after that and the good thing is that he moved from that particular area after the incident.”
The young woman told this publication that she developed a hatred for men and her rapist in particular as a result of the incident; so much so that “even today, years later, I still can’t stand him”.
The second victim interviewed by this publication explained that the first of her attacks took place in early 1997 and she named the rapist as her boyfriend. She said the attack was done while they were separated.
“I cannot remember the exact date but it was close to Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend and I were separated at the time and I went by his house to pick our daughter from by him. It was raining and I had to go inside. My bag dropped and he found a poem I had written for a co-worker of mine that I had a crush on. So he thought it best to force himself on me, claiming that there was no other man for me and that we were made for each other, we belong together and no one will ever love me like he does. And all the time he was saying that I could not help but hope that he was wrong…
“That incident resulted in pregnancy…”
She seemed to have loved this man – the man with whom she had lived for some time and made a family. They mended fences sometime after, not knowing that there were further rocky roads ahead.
“The second time he raped me, it was so horrible that I actually considered committing suicide…He was sodomising me! No matter how I screamed and begged him to stop, he didn’t until he was satisfied. Then he left me and went outside to sleep in his vehicle, leaving me in tears. He never even said he was sorry and he didn’t even try to console me. I kept wondering if this is the man who claims that he loves me, the one who claims that no one else will ever love me.
“It was so horrible that for weeks I could not sit or clean myself properly. I use to wonder what use am I. I use to think that I should just leave and never come back and hope that no one finds me…”
Each time she was attacked – victim number two explained – she wanted to make reports to the police but she was always prevented by the thought, “This is my children’s father. How will they be taken care of if he goes to jail?”
Such attacks leave gaping wounds which some believe could be soothed and healed by time alone. But, that is a fallacy, as the passage of time often reveals festered and putrid wounds covered in the stench of rage, remorse, dispassion and dysfunction.
Is it possible then that reporting such incidences is one of the first steps on the part to emotional healing? Is it not also possible that reporting such incidents could result in the prevention of further sexual abuse?
As victim number one advised, “At times you may feel that maybe you deserve this, but I am telling you that you don’t! No one does! You may feel like you should keep it to yourself but you shouldn’t, because you are not alone and speaking about it may encourage others to speak out about their experience.”
Victim number two said the trauma which she experienced during and after the rape incidents could have been mitigated had she sought help through proper avenues, starting with lodging a complaint.
“Keeping it to yourself may result in you breaking down or losing your mind, or even worse, it might cause you to want to commit suicide… So please, as soon as possible, speak out or make a report and you will feel much better…maybe not right away but eventually.”
