Few things are as troubling as the thought of a loved one who wants to end his or her life. As family members or friends, we may feel confused by their desire to give up, distressed at the pain they must be bearing, or anxious at the thought of having to go on without them. Whatever the emotion, the idea of suicide is usually an upsetting one, which often leaves family members or friends struggling for answers on how to cope.
What makes a person consider suicide?
Persons who consider suicide are often struggling with emotional/physical pain that feels unbearable to them. Rather than wanting to hurt themselves or others, suicidal persons are focused on ending the pain that they feel. For many, an end to life - death- may seem like the only real way ‘out’. While family and friends might see hope in the suicidal person’s circumstance, the mind of the suicidal person might be so burdened by the weight of depression, isolation, self-hatred, and hopelessness, that the thought of a ‘better tomorrow’ might seem impossible. It is the perception, then, that ‘life is hopeless’, rather than the reality, that makes many persons overwhelmed with life circumstances, consider suicide.
Another major risk factor is depression - a pervasive low or sad mood that may last for weeks or months, that leads to symptoms such as sadness, anger/irritability, feelings of hopelessness, sleep disturbances, poor/increased appetite, lack of motivation or interest in usual activities, social withdrawal, and unexplained aches and pains. Although there are different types of depression, such as postpartum depression, and the depressive episodes common with bipolar disorder, depression often brings with it negative thoughts, hopelessness, and thoughts of death - a combination which can easily lead a person to contemplate suicide.
Other major risk factors for suicide include having to cope with chronic pain or a terminal illness (e.g cancer), a recent loss or stressful life event, social isolation/loneliness, and a history of trauma and abuse. Persons who have a family history of suicide or have made previous suicide attempts may be more likely to consider and carry out the act.
What are some of the warning signs?
The website, www.helpguide.org, contains excellent information on the warning signs of suicide, as well as prevention tips. This information is outlined below:
Talking about suicide Any talk about suicide, dying, or self-harm, such as "I wish I hadn't been born," "If I see you again...," and "I'd be better off dead."
Seeking out lethal means Seeking access to guns, pills, knives, or other objects that could be used in a suicide attempt.
Preoccupation with death Unusual focus on death, dying, or violence. Writing poems or stories about death.
No hope for the future Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and being trapped ("There's no way out"). Belief that things will never get better or change.
Self-loathing, self-hatred Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, shame, and self-hatred. Feeling like a burden ("Everyone would be better off without me").
Getting affairs in order Making out a will. Giving away prized possessions. Making arrangements for family members.
Saying goodbye Unusual or unexpected visits or calls to family and friends. Saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again.
Withdrawing from others Withdrawing from friends and family. Increasing social isolation. Desire to be left alone.
Self-destructive behavior Increased alcohol or drug use, reckless driving, unsafe sex. Taking unnecessary risks as if they have a "death wish."
Sudden sense of calm A sudden sense of calm and happiness after being extremely depressed can mean that the person has made a decision to commit suicide.
Ways to Help
Suicide prevention tip#1 - Speak up if you’re worried
Talking to a friend or family member about their suicidal thoughts and feelings can be extremely difficult for anyone. But if you’re unsure whether someone is suicidal, the best way to find out is ask. You can’t make a person suicidal by showing that you care. In fact, giving a suicidal person the opportunity to express his or her feelings can provide relief from loneliness and pent-up negative feelings and may prevent a suicide attempt.
Ways to start a conversation:
? I have been feeling concerned about you lately
? Recently, I’ve noticed some differences in you and wondered how you are doing
? I wanted to check in with you because you haven’t seemed yourself lately
Questions to ask:
? When did you begin feeling like this?
? Did something happen to make you feel this way?
? How can I best support you right now?
? Have you thought about getting help?
Suicide prevention tip #2 - Offer help and support
If a friend or family member is suicidal, the best way to help is by offering an empathetic, listening ear. Let your loved one know that he or she is not alone and that you care. Don’t take responsibility, however, for making your loved one well. You can offer support, but you can’t get better for a suicidal person. He or she has to make a personal commitment to recovery.
? Get professional help- Do everything in your power to get a suicidal person the help he or she needs. Encourage the person to see a mental health professional, or take them to a doctor’s appointment.
? Follow up on treatment- If a doctor prescribes medication, make sure your loved one takes it as directed. Be aware of possible side effects and be sure to notify the physician if the person seems to be getting worse.
? Be proactive - those contemplating suicide often don’t believe they can be helped, so you may have to be more proactive at offering assistance. Saying, “Call me if you need anything” is too vague. Don’t wait for the person to call you or even to return your calls. Drop by, call again, invite the person out.
? Encourage positive lifestyle changes - such as a healthy diet, plenty of sleep, and getting out in the sun or into nature for at least 30 minutes each day. Exercise is also extremely important as it releases endorphins, relieves stress, and promotes emotional well- being.
? Make a safety plan - Help the person develop a set of steps he or she promises to follow during a suicidal crisis. It should identify any triggers that may lead to a crisis - such as an anniversary of a loss, alcohol, or stress from relationships. Also include contact numbers for the person’s doctor or therapist, as well as family or friends who will help in an emergency.
? Remove potential means of suicide - such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If a person is likely to take an overdose, keep medications away or give out only as the person needs them.
? Continue your support over the long haul. Even after the immediate suicidal crisis has passed, stay in touch with the person, periodically checking in or dropping by. Your support is vital to ensure your loved ones remains on the recovery track.
Suicide prevention tip #3 - Respond quickly in a crisis
If a friend or family member tells you that he or she is thinking about death or suicide. It’s important to evaluate the immediate danger the person is in. Those at the highest risk for committing suicide in the near future have a specific suicide PLAN, the MEANS to carry out the plan, a TIME SET for doing it, and the INTENTION to do it (www.helpguide.org)
If a suicide attempt is imminent, quick intervention from a trusted friend, family member or associate may stop the attempt and allow the suicidal person to consider getting further help. For medical emergencies, e.g wounds or ingested chemicals, call 911 immediately, to have the person transported to the JNF Hospital where they can receive treatment, as well as counselling support. Counselling and therapy for persons in crisis can also be arranged through the Counselling Centre, at 465-5000.
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