So it is confirmed that I am pregnant, I walked out the lab with test result in hand. I again sat in my car, which had become my refuge, and stared into space. I looked down at my phone and wondered who should I call with this confirmation. I decided to call my mother and when she answered the phone I said “Mom it is confirmed.” She responded by saying “Ok when are you going to see the doctor” I stated that I would book an appointment to see her today. Mom then said Ok good and then the conversation ended. I took a few minutes to exhale. What did this all mean? How was this possible? Given my hormonal issues it should not have been possible. Was I ready to be somebody’s mother? Can I take care of someone else’s who was going to be solely dependent on me for half of their lives? Feeling a bit overwhelmed I decided to again place these thoughts on the back burner. I went to work and during the day I called my doctor and made an appointment. In the afternoon, I went to my appointment and had a rather frank talk with my doctor. She was awesome and assured me that she would walked me through the process and I should not be afraid to ask her any questions or call her.
In the next couple of weeks I was in a daze, I truly had a difficult time wrapping my mind around being pregnant. I didn’t feel any different but I knew I had to change my lifestyle. I had made up my mind that I was bringing the healthiest baby ever. So no more junk food, fruits and vegetables, research, exercise, and most importantly positive thoughts. So I began reading like I was in college. I researched on the net like I was preparing for an exam. I needed to know exactly what was I getting myself into. I wanted to know everything so I could be as prepared as possible. Now who do I tell that I am pregnant? Yes I told my boss early because I wanted her to know just in case there were any complications. I told my trainer because he needed to figure out a program for me. I told the few friends I have who were over the moon for me. I eventually told my Reverend because I needed all the prayers I could get. I realized I needed a strong support system in order to get through this experience. It took me about the time I began to show to truly comprehend that I was carrying life inside of me.
So about a few months into this experience, I had my first ultrasound. I was still in a daze because I wasn’t really showing. Going in, I was like why am I even here. I got into the room and in walks the doctor. He asked me what are you hoping for and I said a boy. He said let us see what is going on. He started the test and there was the outline of my baby. Yep here came the water works. I saw my baby’s heart beating. WOW!! It is totally amazing to see his little heart going full speed. There was a life growing inside me. Oh me arm peetes water works again. See no one told me about how emotional pregnancy would be. I am not a bawler as I usually take everything as it comes and look for the positive. But during this time, I was just a bawling wreck. I was not finding that cool at all.
The first time I felt my baby move I thought it was indigestion as that was part of the drama of being pregnant. I ate Tums like they were candy. Then it happened again like a butterfly had flown across my belly. It tickled and I almost laughed out as it became more frequent. The movements became more frequent in the night and early morning as it seem to be his favourite time. Those beautiful butterfly feelings gradually became serious kicks and head butts. Now, I remember my sister saying me to oh you would miss all those movements. I told her no I won’t because I knew that my son was playing a serious game of football in my stomach. Well those kicks and head butts would stop me in my tracks and cause me to bend over to catch my breath. I would talk to my baby and say honey could you ease up on the game for a bit mommy would like to rest. Yes, my research said that talking to baby was part of the bonding and since I was already good at talking to myself this was be fairly easy. The baby seem to listen sometimes and other times he did his own thing. I made sure I got myself walking and going to the gym for the first half of my pregnancy. It kept me feeling less tired as no one ever tells you how tiring pregnancy is. I found out so much crazy things. One research said to ask my female family members to see how their pregnancy went and it would give me an idea as to how mine would go. So the first person I asked was my mother. She said we are a different breed of woman, we don’t get stretch marks, or swollen nose or foot. The only thing that swells on us are our bellies. I thought that was so interesting so I decided to talk to some of my cousins and they confirmed that it was so. I was in for some really interesting times as I looked forward to seeing the little bundle I was carrying.
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