BASSETERRE, St. Kitts - AS another night presents itself and I put my son to bed, I watch him as he sleeps so soundly and peacefully. I also wonder to myself: Am I raising a boy who will become a murderer, or am I raising a future Prime Minister?
It is kind of weird to be thinking that way, isn’t it? But the manner in which things are going in today’s world one cannot help to think that way.
Boys at one-year-old are so innocent and cute. Then ‘boop’, 15 years later, they can become totally transformed and out of the blue become so rebellious. When this happens, parents cannot help but stop, think and ponder, “Where did I go wrong? What didn’t I do? I gave him the best of everything. I gave him enough space when it was time.” Then, ‘AHH’, suddenly it hits you: “DAMN, I forgot to be a mother. I was too busy being his friend.”
Then again, isn’t a friend supposed to tell you right from wrong and lead you in the right direction? So how on earth could a child, “MY CHILD”, still stray? Then you remember, what he is not taught at home he will certainly be taught elsewhere.
At what age do we teach our children about guns, drugs, sex and all those other perverted things? Is it nine, 10, 12, 15? How about none of the above? Instead, it should be as soon as they can understand ‘yes’ and ‘no’.
We often think it is too early to teach our children these things. However, outside peddlers of negative influences do not watch age as they wait in the wings to prey on our children’s young minds. Therefore, why should we wait to instill positive values?
After taking the opportunity to speak with a few parents, it was clear to me that I was not the only mother who had those exact thoughts.
Shanny, a Marketing Manager with a three-year-old son, said she wants him to live to see 18, go to college and live a good life. She added that her deepest fear was for him to get caught up in a gang and lose his life at a young age.
While asking a young lady name Lillian Finch about her hopes and dreams for her son, I learnt that she wants him to come “something good in life”. Finch said she is so glad that he chose to be a Christian, adding that this leaves her heart comforted knowing whenever he leaves the house he will not get into trouble.
Finch went on to say her deepest fear is that he would change, get involved with the wrong set of people and lose his life.
Leroy Thompson, the father to two boys - a seven-year-old and a one-and-half-year-old - said he really wants them to achieve the things he has not. “I want them to go to college and I want them to treat other people with respect and also respect themselves,” he said.
However, the hopeful tone in Leroy’s voice instantly turned to dread when I asked about his deepest fear for them. He said, “I don’t want my sons to become gunmen and get caught up in badness,” adding that, “I will always try to show them the right way.”
The mood suddenly changed when I visited a young woman named Sandra Roberts who lost her 18-year-old son, Jusan, to the hands of a gunman. A teary Roberts said her son was really passionate about driving, so she always hoped for him to get a driving job, seeing it was what he loved.
Roberts said she often told him he was not ready for the streets and always hoped that he would forget certain friends. “I am not saying that he was better than them, but I didn’t want him to be in the public eye in a bad way.”
She continued, saying that she always feared having to lose him and frequently called his phone to find out where he was and what he was doing.
On the other hand, Jusan’s father, Raphael Hendricks said that he always wanted him to become a lawyer. He added that Jusan had so much in store for him. “All I wanted was to see him strive,” he said. He added that the thought never crossed his mind that he would lose him in that way, so he only feared that his son would get into trouble following bad company.
The questions here are: Does it really matter what we as parents hope and dream for our children? Or are children going to do and be what they want to regardless?
