BASSETERRE, St. Kitts - ALL over the world, it is believed that many men are fathering children that do not belong to them. It is something we the people of St. Kitts call a ‘wrong child’ or like Jamaicans say, “He get a jacket.”
Some women, and notice I used the word some, often get themselves into situations where they are engaged in unprotected sex with multiple partners and end up pregnant. The child is then given to the man they either love or another of the partners because they think a baby would force the man to always be around.
Occasionally, it is a genuine mistake, where the mother believes that she has given the child to its rightful father, but quite often it is not. Take for example, talk shows like Maury, where women swear they are 110 percent certain that they have given the children to their rightful fathers and then it turns out to be false.
This is known in some quarters as a white lie, and for whatever reason, a white lie sometimes come into play and some women then become selfish, think of themselves and not their children, and how it would affect them.
SKNVibes PEP took to the streets of downtown Basseterre and asked a few women this question: “Would you tell a man a child is his knowing that it is not?”
Having said no, when asked the question, Tamica quickly added, “In the end, the child will suffer; it is a very bad thing to do for many reasons. If the child gets sick and needs a major surgery or has to get medical aid from the father, there and then you have created havoc for the child. The child would eventually feel a sense of discomfort and disconnection, and if the child finds out that the man is not his biological father it might cause the child to rebel in several ways. The bottom line is that it is better to just tell the truth and suffer the immediate consequences.”
Shawdi, as she prefers to be referred to, kept it short and sweet when she said, “No, I won’t! Things happen…kids get sick and sometimes need blood from their dad. What would you do then?”
A young girl by the name of Shanny also gave a negative reply. “Nope, it is good to face reality. I wouldn't do it because it will ache my heart to bring up an innocent child not telling it the truth. It is more than just the surface. People’s opinion doesn’t count in my world.”
She further opined that the biggest reason why women do not give a child to its real father is because they are probably known with a specific spouse and may be sleeping with others undercover. “So I will push pass the embarrassment and tell my child the truth,” she added.
“Hell no, it would damage the child as well as his father in the future. That’s just scarring them both for life,” said Kimberlee.
Deserine, whose opinion was quite different, said, “To be honest, it depends on the situation. It is wrong to say no but if it’s a case of being married I might not. But on the other hand, I will just think of my child first and imagine the hell it would go through if it was to find out the truth in the long run. So honestly I would say yes.”
“What’s in the dark must come out in the light,” was Kimesha’s answer.
Karessa, a mother of two and who was really sensitive to the topic, said she could never do that because it is only going to look bad on her behalf. She claimed that what would make it worse if the man really wanted the child then sometime later finds out it is not his. But, most of all, she added, in the long run it is in the interest of the child and how such a situation could confuse him or her.
Shema, who shared a similar opinion, said, “It’s deceiving and will also be very confusing to the child; plus you would also rob the child of its identity. Personally, I think women should stop making the issue about them.”
“It seems as though the men’s genes are now stronger than the females’. Back then, after birth and a couple years later, a child didn’t really resemble the dad as it is seen now in the more modern times. So, no, I would not do that,” said Tamara.
Now that all has been said, ask yourself this question: “If I were a man, would I want to find out that I am fathering a child that is not mine? Especially if you are finding out years after and you have played an active role in that child’s life.
