BASSETERRE, St. Kitts – FOR years many women have been victims of constant abuse in their relationships, yet they remain and most of them blame it on love.
But, can love really cause them to be so blind that they are willing to lose their life in the process of just feeling loved, or simply just wanting a place to belong?
There have been many cases of domestic violence involving actors, sports professionals, high society men and women, among others. There are also many women who are victims of abuse but are afraid to speak out and often cover up bruises with clothing and make-up.
Domestic violence has even been passed on from generation to generation, whereby sons witness their fathers beating their mothers and other women; so they feel it is the right thing to do when they become adults.
SKNVibes recently asked a number of people the following question: “Why do women remain in abusive relationships?”
According to Mystery Girl, “It is because the man has money and that is what they are in the relationship for…the money. So, they do not care bout how much beating they get once they getting the money.”
“It all depends…there's no one particular reason. Religion can be an option, the pressure to keep the family together; therefore, divorce is not an option. Sex role can be another…meaning, she came to the decision that's just how men are. Economic dependence is another. It’s an intricate question with several plausible options”, said another individual who prefers to remain anonymous.
Brookes on the other hand said, “Some women put up with it because of all the hard work and effort they put into that particular relationship and wouldn't give up cause of a fault with beating.”
A young man who goes by the name Slims indicated that he thinks it is a matter of self-confidence and self-reliance.
“Most women who get licks have a very low image of themselves; hence, they think if a man beats them its a way of showing them love. So they feel if they take licks and he supports me its okay. Another reason I think this happens is because some women can be lazy and some men feel if I support you I can put my hand on you, and therefore the women stay there because the men are giving them something,” he added.
A finance manager named Kellog, in giving his response, indicated that some women do not see it as constant beating. He said they see it as his way of expressing himself because he cares and loves her…wanting to make things right. He said that usually this type of woman was physically abused by her parents, so she sees the constant beating in the relationship as no difference.
How to get help
Often times women who are involved in domestic abuse will make reports but do not follow through, or after everything has returned to a state of normalcy they would drop the charges, which can be very discouraging to the police. However, if one is serious about getting help, it is always wise to tell someone and not keep it to oneself, because the situation can become detrimental and cause loss of life.
Speaking briefly with the Police Public Relations Officer, Inspector Henderson, he said domestic violence is a crime and there is a legislation which speaks specifically to it.
He indicated that there are various penalties that deal with the different types of violence and that there are also a number of agencies involved in the fight against domestic violence, which also provide safe houses for abused women who have no other place to go.
Henderson said many people are of the opinion that only women are abused, but there are also many men who deal with domestic violence as well. But because of the male ego they are afraid to speak out.
