One should keep her enemies or rivals close!
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake it youve got it made!
Jean Giraudoux
GENUINE PEOPLE?
Sincerity is the way of Heaven.
Mencius,Works
Chinese Confucian philosopher (371 BC-289 BC)
By Mutryce A. Williams BBA CTM MP
Sally approached Jane and asked her a rather peculiar question. She asked, Is Sue your friend? Jane looked at her and asked, Why would you ask that question? Sallys reply was, Well, Lord I dont want any confusion you know, Lord what I getting myself into eh? Jane remarked, Well, why would you go beating at a Jacks Spaniards nest not expecting to get stung? Sally said, Well since it is you, I will say, I overheard Sue in a conversation saying how she aint like you and when asked, well why you talk to her when you know you dont like her? The response was, One should keep her enemies or rivals close! Jane said to Sally, Well, Sally you are quite aware that I am going to ask Sue a question! Sallys response was Lord thats why people dont tell you things you know. You cant work with you mouth shut and pretend that you dont know a thing! Let her think she working one on you, sometimes is so you have to do it! Jane looked Sally square in the face and said, No, if what you are claiming is true, should I do that my heart would be blacker than hers! I would be a hypocrite and that I have never been and will never be! At a Friday afternoon lime, Jane, in casual conversation confronted Sue. Sues response to the allegation was a quote by Jean Giraudoux, The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake it youve got it made!
People go through life with the same thought processes as Sue. They have this theory of keeping people they deem their rivals or enemies close. I often have this discussion with a friend of mine who believes in this theory. His take on the situation is, at least I know what that person is up to, so therefore I am always one step ahead. There are a lot of people surprisingly who subscribe to this theory. It is a theory I just DONT get. There are so many things that one has to worry about in this life other than playing crooked coop or tag with people who clearly has no use for us. This is such a waste of time. It is something I do not understand. If I have to be constantly watching my words with people who are supposed to be friends then where is the bliss or easiness of friendship? If the situation is such that I look at that friend waiting for when he or she is going to lodge that dagger, anxiously anticipating it, is this friendship? Does this make any sense? There are even some cases it gets to the point where we thrive or feed on this thing as well. It becomes a part of our everyday life. We wait to next hear from those who bring the news of this friends latest act of deception. We even go around telling Tom, Dick and Mary about it and we always end, Boy and she think I aint know eh! But ah wetting me hand and waiting for her! Save yourself the grief! Save yourself the stress! Simply say, Look here Sue, I am not one for nonsense you hear, this is what I hear, is there any truth to it? If so I cannot continue having you around me, hello, hello breaks no bones, but thats it! I am not in this hypocrite thing, that is one outfit I do not wear well! The thing with deceitful people is as good as they are, when they are put on the spot, I mean in an outright and frank manner, they are so transparent. You would definitely know where they are coming from and you wouldnt even have to worry about them because they would immediately become suspicious of you, because they know you know.
There are people who think that the secret of success is sincerity and that once you can fake it youve got it made. I question, If one acquires success via these Machiavellian means, is this success really success? How sweet or sublime could this success really be? Why use or taint an honourable or noble word like sincerity for treacherous means Messieurs Giraudoux? Obviously, the words sincerity and fake are oxymoron. I guess in this case for these individuals the ends really do justify the means! I often question this behaviour because it is a phenomenon that has perplexed me and continues to perplex me. I question the how! What does it mean to have it made anyway because one would have a lifetime of wearing a façade? This person would cease being his or herself and live the life of a lie. I ask is that what it means to have it made? Isnt this person in essence deceiving his or herself? Isnt this price a greater one to pay, even greater than the desired end, which is SUCCESS! If I do not take a liking to someone, especially a strong dislike I will not do that individual or myself the displeasure of gracing him or her with my presence. It is impossible for me to befriend that person or smile or skin teeth with that person. I know that all skin teeth aint laugh but to be outright crooked that is indeed something. We all understand that there are times that one has to be diplomatic, like at work but there is a marked difference. I am talking about friendship. I am talking about a voluntary union of friendship. A few weeks back, one of my girlfriends invited me to an intimate girls night out. It was going to be five of us and there was a young lady in that group that I was not comfortable being around because of something she had done to me, of course I had forgiven her but in the same light did not mean that she was someone that I wanted to spend time with in such an intimate setting so I turned down the invite. My friend was rather upset. I told her, you ought to know me better than that I am not good at faking and I refuse to sit in a social setting with my valuable time and be uncomfortable for an extended period of time even for you. It isnt a case where its compulsory. Had it been your birthday or wedding thats a different case but not me just getting up and going liming with all you!
I know that there are many of us who can identify with Janes story. We are told that we have to just work with our mouths shut or find a way of remaining amicable with individuals whom we know wishes us ill behind our backs, but yet grins with us and acts as we are the best of friends. My take on that is quite different. Why be a fake? Why not be sincere and true to yourself? I always say that life is too short to put up with people and their nonsense. If you find yourself in a situation like this it needs to be confronted head on but tactfully because if suspicion persists it festers. You get yourself raveled in this game of suspicion, deceit and hypocrisy. It changes you! It consumes you! It is a total waste of time and energy! I have always contended among friends that genuineness; sincerity and honesty are rare, rare, rare commodities in todays world. Be sincere!
Sincerity is the way of Heaven. Mencius,Works
Chinese Confucian philosopher (371 BC-289 BC)
