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| Norma Ross |
Throughout history, we have always looked at the mother as the nurturer and the role of the father has often been less defined. Somehow issues and times have changed. As times have changed, dads are becoming increasingly involved in their children's lives.
With numbers increasing everyday there are many more single family households than ever. The reasons are manifold, but the reality is that dads are bringing up kids in todays society just as are mothers. Fathers are involved, caring nurturing and trying to be good dads even though they may not have excelled in their personal relationship with the mother of their child.
For the dad who is not involved, I encourage them to understand the importance in the development of their child. Dads who are involved in the household bring stability to the child. It gives the child a sense of having a family and a role model who can take them to play ball, teach them about sportsmanship, develop athletic skills and help prepare them for life. It is not that moms do not do this but mom helps with other important issues that a child needs.
I tell dads to think about their own dads. What they liked... what they feel they missed and try to be the dad that brings all the missing parts to the family.
Dads can do seemingly simple tasks; like praising their child when they show compassion for another, or show respect to his elders or give to a friend. It is not only an important role but an often missed opportunity to model for the child. Acknowledging that one is proud of their behavior gives a child positive attention which is so essential for self esteem and confidence.
Constructive advice, and praise for being responsible goes a long way. A dad's communication is so important. Dad needs to remember words of approval often affect the child just as criticism can hurt. Dad must decide what he wants his role to be in the success of his child no matter how he feels about all the other situations that exist around the family.
The more dads can define their role, the more they can provide the role modeling that children need. Doing so can lessen the chance that children will engage in violence drugs and other maladaptive behaviors. Like any goal in life, if you define it, it can be reached. Today more than ever, we need dads to define themselves.
