Chin in hands, I lay flat on my stomach looking up at the young man who sat before me, feeling not pity but immense admiration, because had that been me, I do not think that I would have mustered up the courage to sit before a gymnasium full of my peers and subject myself to the judgmental stares, barrage of scrutiny, onslaught of questions and chastisement that wielded from left, right and center. Yet, he sat there calmly; smile planted on his face not feeling sorry for himself, but rather, in a diplomatic manner-tackling question after question. There were so many questions and assumptions, the most common one being that he had contracted the HIV virus from homosexual activity, as we could not comprehend how a young man in his twenties living with the HIV virus for over twelve years could have possibly contracted it in any other manner.  Other questions were hurled at him  Are you sexually active? Dont you think that you owe it to society to go out on an aggressive campaign to combat the disease? There were a lot of I think you should& I dont think you should be& and How could you &

I tilted my head back and forth and side to side so that I may get a perfect look at the faces of my peers whose lives seemed to be so unblemished, immaculate even, for none seemed to be at a loss of words in the chastisement of this young man. There were no words of support. There were no accolades to be had for his courage; in attempting to assist us in our understanding of the pandemic called HIV and AIDS. Just when I thought that the session couldnt get any worse, a young man who declared that he was gay was introduced to the group. The air within the room in a matter of milliseconds grew rather hostile. It was so palpable; one could have cut it with a knife. Derogatory remarks were made and some participants rose and left the room. My peers, who ALL, at that moment seemed to have halos over their heads dug into the young man like angry piranhas. Like a Greek warrior he sat stoically and responded to each question and accusation. There were no accolades for him either. Surprisingly enough, a remarkably clad transvestite Commercial Sex Worker was introduced to the group. Ru Paul had nothing on her. It was the perfect art of deception, because although I lay right before her until she introduced herself and said she was a man, I could not tell the difference. The participants seemed to be bemused by her and questions like How did you learn to walk in your heels? and Who does your make-up? were asked. When I asked, What percentage of your clients consider themselves straight and are married men? She responded contritely Sixty-five percent. It seemed, as we would say here, as if the room got a good dose of hush. The reality of HIV and AIDS set in!

May 14-18 2006, I traveled to Trinidad and Tobago with three other delegates, Jacqueline Bryan, Pierre Liburd and Dehaan Henry to attend the first ever Caribbean Youth Dialogue on HIV and AIDS. I did not think that this trip would have the tremendous impact that it had on me, but it DID. It has been my opinion for sometime now that the urgency with regards to the HIV and AIDS pandemic has been lost and that people are treating the disease like they would treat the common cold. The facts and statistics are there. We all know them. Yet we question, why were there 30,000 DOCUMENTED NEW cases of HIV infection in the year 2005 in our region? Why is this figure escalating? I found some of the answers sitting in that gymnasium with my peers on that Monday evening. It is simply because we fail to accept REALITY.   Reality is that none of us is perfect. We are ALL human. We err. Reality is that we are not living in an unblemished world and because we fail to realize this then the HIV and AIDS pandemic would continue to torpedo through our region. We are often so bent on fashioning and preserving the morality of others, rather than taking an introspective look at ourselves. It often amazes me how we quote the bible when it suits our situation. When the young man who declared that he was gay dialogued with the group, the Scriptures came out, one behind the other, as if some of the participants had swallowed the entire Bible.  I interjected and asked, Who are you to damn another human being to hell? and reminded them that the Bible also said, Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!  One young lady asked me if I believed in God or if I had any beliefs at all. My response was, We are all created in Gods image and likeness, none better than the other and we all deserve to be treated and respected as human beings. Judgment is for God and not man. I asked her, According to your definition of sin, homosexuality may be his but can you tell me right now what yours is? Are you saying that because of his homosexual lifestyle that he is more prone to contract the HIV virus than you are, because young black women are the demographic group that has the highest infection rate?

 We all know by now that HIV and AIDS isnt a disease, as we were led to believe that came to punish or wipe out the homosexual population. The reality is that HIV and AIDS unlike us humans do not discriminate. The reality is that in the fight against this disease we need to put our differences aside and join forces to combat HIV and AIDS. No one is asking that you change or compromise your beliefs but just that you realize what the reality is. The reality is that it only takes one time, ONE TIME. The reality is that you cannot watch someone and tell whether he or she is HIV positive. The reality is that there are people living with the disease who are bitter and who would want to spread it. The reality is that every time you have unprotected sex you put yourself at risk for the disease. This is the reality. The reality is that every pregnant woman you see could have been a potential HIV and AIDS victim. This is the reality. The reality is that as faithful as we would like to think our partners are we cannot vouch for anyone but ourselves. People get offended when you tell them this but this is the reality of the situation. The reality is that after you have had unprotected sex you need to get tested.  Parents the reality is that your children arent innocent as you think. They know what sex is. This is the reality. The reality is that HIV and AIDS does not discriminate. It does not only affect sinners or non-believers. It affects the holy and the believers. It rears its head in the church. The reality is that it affects the rich and the poor, as well as the old and the young. The reality is that in order to combat HIV and AIDS we need a united effort. The reality is there is life after HIV. The reality is that people living with HIV and AIDS are human. They deserve our love and compassion. The reality is that we need to hold ourselves accountable for our own behaviour. The reality is that we need to take responsibility for our decisions and our lives. The reality is that YOU and I can get HIV and AIDS. Stop the discrimination! Dispel the stigma! Feel, Know, Love and Fight HIV and AIDS in the Caribbean. Feel, Know, Love and Fight! The reality is that there is still no cure for HIV and AIDS. The Reality is that HIV and AIDS is REAL!