I ask do you have to have children to know that there are some parents in our society who lack parenting skills. Do you have to have children to know that parenting requires two partners? Do you have to have a child to know that parenting takes time? Do you have to have a child to know that parenting means sacrifice? Do you have to have a child to realize that parenting requires immense love and attention and that it is not the mere of act of "doing one's business" and then nine months later receiving the end product? Do you have to have a child to know that one should not have a child for selfish reasons? Do you have to have a child to know that parenting is serious, serious business and that it is a huge responsibility? Do you have to have a child to know that you are responsible for 'raising' and grooming an upstanding citizen and that parenting just should not be taken likely? Do you have to have a child to know that when you fail at parenting that this may have serious repercussions for society? Do you have to have children to know that a child should be and deserves to be a child?
I try really hard to reserve my views and comments on this particular issue as some of my views are quite caustic and crass to say the least but recent events have set me thinking and I have been observing some of the children in our society and I keep asking myself the question, "Who or what are we raising nowadays?" If you listen to the content of their conversations, you really have to shake your head in wonderment. The thing that peeves me most is that we excuse this behaviour by saying that it is just the times that we are living in.
But I ask should children be behaving in this manner. If you listen to them the biggest bad words they could find rolling off of their tongues and if you dare to correct them you can bet your life that you may get a few and if you see the clothes that they adorn their bodies with especially some of our young girls, you wonder if that old phrase, "You mother let you come out the house in that!" 'gone een' as we like to say but when look a little in front or maybe behind there is that mother in tow. If you listen to some of their conversations about sex and I am not talking about the where babies come from topic but the vile things of a sexually explicit nature, that no child should be exposed to are being spewed from their mouths and we just say, "oh these children brighter or wiser than how we used to be.
They know everything or it's the television or the Internet." I ask where the role of the parent fits into all this. Some of these children just have no kind of respect. I guess the thing is we keep saying that this is modern days as if we are just supposed to accept it. I ask again who or what are we 'raising' nowadays? I look at some of these children and I am looking for some degree of innocence or purity and it is frightening because at times I can't see it. I ask isn't childhood suppose to be innocent. Shouldn't a child be a child? I also ask what the root cause of this behaviour is. How do we go about addressing this behavior? I hope the first thing that came to your mind was not that the teachers need to do more or that the education system is deficient because I will quickly differ.
The principles of life should not be taught in any classroom. This should start at home. I know that we may say that in cases where the home is deficient this is where the teachers and the education system may step in, but listen when these children leave the classroom they return to the same deficient home environment where these behaviours are reinforced. What do we do then?
I heard a mother referring to her twelve year old daughter the other day as being "more woman than she." I ask how could your twelve your old daughter who lives under your roof, who you are feeding or clothing be "playing more woman than you?" I do not condone scare tactics but I can recall hearing my mother say a couple times, "Is me bring you here and bet you life if I have to I would take you out." I don't think she meant that literally well I hope not. Where is this putting down of one's foot? Do parents do that anymore? There is the question of who is ruling who? I attended the Ms. Labour Pageant last weekend and the comedienne Ms. Rachel Price was hilarious.
The crowd loved her but what I hope that we realized was that throughout her performance she was sending out strong, strong messages to our society. I really applaud her that. I looked at the faces of some of the young girls in the audience when she spoke about her relationship with her daughter and the comments started. "She must be crazy. Thank God she aint me mother. How she mean she daughter 14 and aint got a cell phone?" They looked at Rachel Price as if she came from Mars. I sat there and I imbibed all this and I just shook my head and asked who or what are we raising nowadays?
Earlier this week while taking the bus to work, a pre-schooler got on with his older brother. Apparently an older lady who sat next to him was 'squeezing him up,' this child who could not be more than three at the most, elbows this woman, pushes her and says in the most gruff and rude tone 'dress over.' People laughed, some of us were in immense shock. The lady herself was in shock. The lady uttered, "You see I am not blaming the child. It is a clear sign that that child's mother had failed. She is not raising him properly.' I smiled and thought, 'Why did she have to say that that child's mother had failed? Why didn't she say that that child's father had failed?' We all know that we are fed in our society that the ultimate responsibility of child rearing is that of the mother as she is the primary care-giver but that is a whole different discourse.
Do you recall the baptism day of your child when you stood before God and man and promised that you would ensure that your child would be raised in a Christian home and that you would do your best in the upbringing of that child or were those just words, is baptism just a cultural thing or rite of passage, because I have always asked, do the parents ever let these words seep into the depths of their soul. Do they take on that challenge? I read an immaculate piece by Mrs. Ingrid Charles- Gumbs the Director of Gender Affairs and it was entitled, 'Delayed Parenting.'
This is a must read because she spoke not only on the issue of parenting but also on how early/inadequate parenting can adversely affect our society. The issue of motherhood, child-rearing and children aren't issues that I take lightly, needless to say that that answers the question as to why I haven't begun getting my brood of five. I do not have to be a mother to care about the state of our nation's children. I just wish that we would all take a fifth I can't say second, third or fourth but a fifth look into how our children are being raised. I think we should ask who or what are we raising nowadays? This upcoming Sunday is Mother's day. I would like to ask all mothers and expectant mothers to reflect upon their role and responsibilities as mothers. Happy Mother's Day!
