By Stephen Walwyn
Chairperson of Nevis Community Anti-Crime Initiative
Many often refer to the days of old in our Federation in romantic ways. The days gone by in the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, even the 70’s and 80’s were simpler and easier to understand. The social and cultural glue that held the society together actually was so strong, it appeared to even hold other societies during that time, together. But it now seems that the sun got so hot as to make the glue of values and traditions just melt away and lose its adhesive effect.
Parenting was a dye that was cast over the entire nation. Your parents helped in the raising of not just you but the rest of us as well. My parents did the same. It was okay for an adult anywhere to scold a child that wasn’t their own. Discipline, strong as an ox, was evident everywhere – in schools, homes, even churches. When one walked around in those days there was a feeling of accountability and checks and balances to rules, regulations and order generally.
It was not all good and wonderful though. And we need to be honest about that fact. Sometimes the strap was used as a kind of cure-all for every social and psychological ill that possessed children. The social order was under great threat when the vestiges of colonial rule were evident through the leadership style of the political directorate. In keeping with the traditions and values of those days, the leader of the Country tried to repress dissent and quash any challenge to the sacred authority of the State through rather oppressive means.
Parents or their surrogates (most often grandmothers) held all the power in the family and rarely negotiated. Wisdom and good research dictate that some measured negotiation with children over the application of some rules, particularly during the adolescent stage (teenage years) can go a long way toward not only teaching and training, but keeping a firm handle on children. Parents in the early days even tried to suppress the range of one’s emotions. Feelings of anger, rage and sadness, for example, were frowned upon and not allowed much validation and expression. Because of the strong need for control and because our fore-parents understood little about how to discipline and manage anger, they suppressed it.
Quite interestingly, as if it was waiting to explode from centuries of a carefully made improvised explosive device, anger appears to be everywhere, in large measure. It is just under the surface, thinly veiled under most of our guarded demeanors. One only has to observe an interaction on the street going bad or not the way the parties intend, and anger or rage escapes like corked champagne shaken and newly opened. Young people are angry, adults are angry; even younger children appear angry these days. Parents are angry, spouses are angry, politicians are angry, callers on talk shows are indeed very angry. But what is everyone so angry about? Where did the anger suddenly come from? What or who is provoking this maddening rage that seems to have engulfed the Nation, spilling over into threats and violence in our homes and on our streets?
Anger doesn’t just manifest itself in a fight, a gunshot or stabbing. Anger is often cloaked in the form of sarcasm, a cynical thought or expression and even through silence. Many carry anger bottled up inside, only to be surprised when it forces its way out during unexpected provocations. Much of the time the particular circumstances that immediately provoked the anger has little to do with the root cause of it. Every good therapist or counsellor (and we don’t have enough of those around us regrettably) knows that just underneath anger is a sister emotion known as hurt or pain. While the anger may be the emotion that we see expressed, invariably and almost always, there is underlying hurt. This hurt may be to the ego as we understand it or the ego as it is, which is the self. Our young people are walking around carrying a lot of pain and sadness, while expressing those emotions through rage and angry outbursts. What is hurting is: their pride, dignity, sexual identity, ambitions, innocence, connections to significant loved ones, bonds and attachments to parents and/or surrogates, hopes and dreams, feelings generally, and frankly their very souls. Their NEED to be understood and to be significant have been neglected and ignored. These unmet needs and pain get expressed through angry interactions and violent behaviours.
The first step in dealing with violence and anger is to understand it. Once understood and accepted as a natural God-given emotion, then it must be managed and controlled. It has been said that a clear sign of intelligence is to be angry at the right person, at the right time and in the right way. Emotions must be disciplined and should not be left to behave like an animal in the wild. The way our young people are so easily inflamed and then act out the rage and pain they are obviously carrying, is needless to say, well, FRIGHTENING. Our Society must take in a very deep breath, count to 10, hold the breath for three seconds, then let it out very slowly, while contemplating the provision of anger management training to young people in schools, adults in the work place and to parents in their various communities. More importantly however, in order to deal with the root causes of anger or any other issue which afflicts our young people, counselling and other social support services are desperately needed in our Country. The decision-makers over the past two decades have focused on the economic development of the Nation while shockingly, shamefully neglecting these essential aspects. Crime is ONLY a SYMPTOM of much deeper issues we face not only with our young but our Nation on a whole.
