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Mutryce Williams
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By Mutryce A. Williams
I recall my neighbour ‘sounding his mouth’ to my grandmother every New Year morning saying, “Agnes, Agneeeessss…Agnes…you there…you there…you make it…a make it…a make it…you hear…a say a make it…a still here…Thank you Massa God…me two eyes no shut…they still open and a make it over to the New Year…”
I would laugh, turn to my grandmother and say, “Well, well, well Mommy, Raymond a something else eh…me arm peets with he…a every year so he going say the same, same thing…this man really, really glad he make it over into the New Year…” With grand timing, I would mimic, “Agnes, Agneeessss no forget to hold me drink you know, you hear wha a say…a say no forget to hold me drink…a coming over for me New Year and you birthday drink.”
New Year’s Day had always been my favourite time of the year, as it was not only a time of new beginnings but also my grandmother’s birthday. In a recent conversation with my sister Victoria, when I asked what were her favourite New Year’s memories she responded, “That shouldn’t even be a question…it was Mommy’s parties…oh and the ringing of the bells at church which rang out the Old Year and rang in the New…but definitely without a doubt…it was Mommy’s parties.” There are so many fond, fond and grand memories of New Year’s Day, but I would have to agree with my younger sister on this one…without a doubt…hands down my grandmother’s New Year’s parties were the best. Every single year, from the moment we stepped out of church, there would be endless partying, eating and drinking...then again, I stand corrected, even before church there would be endless partying, eating and drinking, and then we would ‘leave off’ and go ring in the New Year at Chapel (Methodist Church in St. Paul’s.)
Growing up, no New Year’s Ball, party or lime was more enticing than the ones my grandmother hosted, and when I say this I mean that this went for all of the family. Attendance was not mandatory, but my grandmother’s New Year’s parties were something that we all looked forward to each and every year. The remarkable thing however was that even as we aged, had our own interests, lives, or circle of friends, every New Year her parties was where it was at, and I must reiterate, no one passed or stayed out of courtesy. We all really, really wanted to be there. The parties were that festive. One and all were welcomed. It was that time of year when family would return home and might I add, not for Christmas or the Season but for the New Year’s party. It was that time of year when friends from near and far would ‘drop in’ for a drink or to exchange the pleasantries and it was a time when all of our friends would clamour.
To this day Ivan, who was my eldest brother’s best friend at the time, jokes about those parties. He would remark that it was not only at one of those New Year’s parties that we had our first dance (innocent of course…he was the penultimate gentleman) but it was also at one of my grandmother’s parties that he had his first drink. Over the years family and friends have shared many jokes on the happenings at the parties. Days after you may hear, “Boy a who the man dey when be, who bring he, arm me wuk ya with he and he dancing…the man drop sleep, wake up, dance, drop sleep, wake up, dance…straight so…” The parties began on New Year’s Eve and ran right into New Year’s Day, and when I say New Year’s Day I mean the whole day. You would ‘leave off’ go parade or ‘make you rounds’ but return home to party again. The next day of course, Mommy would have paint and brush in hand asking you to paint over the spot you “rub off” on her wall, and of course everybody blaming each other.
My grandmother was a very “celebratory” person. She was what some may call an infectiously “sportish”, “vibrant” or “lively” woman. She was a gracious everyday hostess who never passed up the opportunity to host a good party. This was a woman who would host breakfast everyday with tea poured from the teapot, with the accompanying cup and saucer. Nothing was ever just simple. With her it was always a grand affair. In reflecting, she would even take orders, asking you what you felt like eating this morning, and if a grandchild, sibling or friend happened to drop by she didn’t mind whipping up whatever their heart desired, then serve it, as if you were a guest at her bistro or restaurant. This was a woman who would ‘rushe up her lips and dolls up herself everyday’ and when you ask, “Well Mommy you going somewhere no?” The response would be, “I don’t need a reason to put on my clothes...is mine…” In reflection, I have come to appreciate her, and this isn’t something that I am trying to sell you on, but rather it is my truth, but she was without a doubt the most remarkable and fascinating person I have ever met.
November 20, 2010 made ten years since she went to host parties in the great beyond, and for the past ten years, each year on that anniversary, I would shut myself off from the world and go into my zone. What made that time particularly difficult was that my birthday falls two days after we laid her to rest, so for the past ten years I did not celebrate nor acknowledge my birthday. It is sad to say that New Year’s Day have been the same. I thought that nothing could top those parties. I thought that celebrating elsewhere or in some other fashion might have been a mark of disrespect. In reflection, I have realized that I had done her a disservice because for each of those years that I chose not to live as she did, not to be grateful for another year, not to allow those who I love and those who love me to celebrate with me, or to give thanks was absolutely selfish. And then I had what Oprah refers to as an “Aha Moment,” my grandmother experienced the loss of loved ones throughout her life, even the loss of a child. But you know what, none of this stopped her from celebrating. She kept right on celebrating and living it up in grand style not just each and every year but each and everyday. I ask what if she had done what I did, what if she had shut herself out on her birthday, on New Year’s Day then we would not have had the fond memories that we hold so dear and cherish each and everyday.
With the help of a few words from my stepmother Cynthia I realized that even though I went around describing my ability to recoup or regain a sense of normalcy over the past ten years as resiliency, it really wasn’t resilience in the truest sense of the word, because time stood still for me on these days. I now realize that for the past ten years that I had failed to embrace the old and use those moments, lessons or experiences to create fond new memories. Now isn’t something! So if I should wake up on New Year’s morning like Raymond and shout, “I make it, I make it, I make it into the New Year,” it will be someone who like my grandmother is so grateful for life that I not only choose to celebrate it on New Year’s or my birthday but choose to celebrate it in some small way each and everyday.
And even though life may have its ups and downs I would always keep near and find comfort in this prayer by Renhold Niebuhr
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
For the New Year, I wish you not only grand parties, serenity, happiness, health, but I also wish you resilience and all the best that life has to offer. I challenge you not only to make resolutions but also not to ignore or toss out all that is old in place of the new. I ask that you embrace those old fond memories, lessons or experiences and use them to create new and lasting wonderful memories. Have a Wonderful and Prosperous New Year!
