With the fast-paced world of technological innovation and casual lifestyles, people naturally adapt to new situations. Social and cultural traditions fuse and transform in new ways, and the roles and expectations of adults and children evolve to meet those trends.

I’m sure that many of us grew up in the days when our parents or grandparents advised that “manners and behavior will take you around the world”. But are we absorbing the ‘no-manners’ culture of other countries? Whatever happened to courtesy? Is it becoming a taboo to actually be polite? What about respect? We seem to be living in the midst of an epidemic of rudeness.  Cursing and vulgar language seem to be the second language of some, while character assassination and political tribalism appear to be on the increase.

Charitable giving also seems to be on the decline, along with volunteerism and the other altruistic acts that make a civil society.

                                                       
Many debates have left us wondering what exactly is responsible for the breakdown of our social fabric. Although we have had some brilliant ideas as to how we can remedy the problems, without the basics we will be fighting a losing battle.

It’s time to go back to some of the basic things such as manners, respect, honesty and caring:

SAY THANK YOU Have we forgotten how and when to say thank you?  Thank you, Merci, Gracias…; Whatever the language, a simple ‘thank you’ is important and goes a long way. With such a simple expression, satisfaction is affirmed, respect is underscored, and roads of goodwill are paved.

It is important to acknowledge someone for doing something for us.

While saying ‘thank you’ doesn’t necessarily open doors, it may just leave them ‘cracked’ wider for us the next time around. ‘Thank you’ is also a small payment forward: in those cases where you may never see the other person ever again, its echo leaves the door open just a little more for those behind you making the same request.

BE RESPECTFUL TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS In today’s world we confuse the terms ‘respect’ and ‘accept‘. That is, I may not necessarily accept the other person’s views but I respect the fact that he/she has the right to individual opinions, ideas, decisions, etc.

Respecting others is an important way of  expressing our feeling for them. It is a way of communication which builds unshaken and strong relations between people interacting with each other. When a person shows respect for someone else, then it shows that he values the other person‘s  innate worth, as well as his thoughts, feelings, and ideas. 

BE KIND I am always shocked by how much a truly kind person can improve my day. Their inner warmth seems to radiate outwards and makes me feel protected and comfortable. Kindness is truly a great quality. Make someone’s day and do something nice. The best way to show your appreciation for someone is by doing something unexpected, thoughtful and generous. When someone does something nice for you, offer to do the same.

BE CHIVALROUS  Chivalry is a term dating back to the medieval knights and their values of honor, courtesy and good manners. It is a very simple practice where you endeavour to behave in a kind and courteous way to the people around you, and especially to members of the opposite sex. A typical example would be holding the door open for someone or standing up to greet someone when they meet you for lunch. Again, it is easy to do but makes people feel really good.

BE HONEST Growing up we were always taught that ‘honesty is the best policy‘. Honesty is very important as it also builds trust and openness, and helps to pave the way for good communication which can develop, maintain and improve relationships.

SMILE Just smile! It’s a simple gesture, but it can have the greatest impact of all. The easiest and most effective way to get someone to smile is to smile at them first. A smile is a gift of love. Smiles spread happiness. When you make someone happy you really feel like you have done something good, so making other people happy makes you happier. There is nothing that adds more beauty to a face than a smile, and there is nothing that touches the heart more than a smile (except maybe laughter). A smile is the number one feature that makes people attractive. It's a welcome mat. It's what makes people approachable. People with great smiles radiate warmth that draws others to them instantly.
 

Smiling is also healthy. If you smile at someone and make them smile you are actively causing chemicals to be released into your body that battle stress and cause feelings of joy. Making other people smile benefits both yourself and others.

CARE Caring for others is an important aspect of engaging in relationships. We improve our relationships when we demonstrate interest, concern and attention.  Caring also helps us to become less self-absorbed and more empathetic.

There may be times when our automatic response is to be concerned, for example, when we see someone injured or hear a distressing piece of news about a friend or family member.  We may well assist them at the time, follow-up afterwards, or remember to enquire when we see them next.  An attitude of concern and caring should not just arise in specific occasions, however, but should become a part of our daily lives, especially when relating to those who seem to be less fortunate than us. 

Other ways to show respect and caring

• Don’t be afraid to hug or shake hands: Physical interaction is truly a wonderful way to cheer someone up and brighten their day.  Humans are sensual creatures. Their lives are dictated by smells, sights, tastes and sounds. But of all of these senses it seems that the most powerful way to interact with another human is by touch. A shake of the hand or a hug is a good way of showing caring and warmth.  If you really want to make someone smile and feel appreciated, give them a hug when you say hello.
• Listen: When someone is talking to you, actively listen to them. Don’t just sit there waiting for your turn to talk. Actually listen. This is one of the best ways to understand and connect with others, while also making them feel respected at the same time.
  
• Give compliments: Compliments are a sure-fire way to make someone smile but quite often they are hard to deliver. Giving compliments can make someone’s day. For example, you might see a beautiful woman who looks sad and depressed. A simple, “your hair looks amazing” would go a long way to making that person feel a million times better.

Having manners, being honest, being respectful, and caring about others should never be outdated or ‘a thing of the past. As a matter of fact, our society is likely faced with so many problems today, because these things are considered outdated. Let’s get back to the basics!

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