We put people so high up on pedestals, create demigods, we use them, and when they falter or fall from grace, instead of sympathizing, or lifting them up, we are there with the demagogues ready to bash them, trample them, not there with words of kindness, encouragement, love or even gratitude…isn’t this world something?
I do not know whether we are still searching for that Holy Grail of the good, searching for an earthly Messiah or just looking for a redeeming quality in others just so that we can believe. Time after time when our shining stars, idols, icons, role models or those who we ‘look’ up to disappoint, we readily forget about all of their accomplishments.
We forget what they have done for us. We forget how they had somehow brightened our day, causing us to walk with a more upright step or pound our chests with pride. We forget how they had touched the very fabric of our souls and humanity. We forget how we had paved a road of gold for them and donned a halo over their heads, dubbing them the magnanimous of the magnanimous.
However, when they fall from grace, when they disappoint, we crucify them. Like an angry mob with pitch forks, we are ready to string them up, stone them, and even burn them at the stake if needs be, because they had done the unthinkable. They had somehow dashed our hopes. They had shattered our reality by proving to us that they were not demigods or immortals but rather they were fallible beings. They were simply human.
Let me state explicitly that I am not defending any of the incongruous actions taken by some of these “idols.” All I am simply saying is that we hold them to a much higher standard, sometimes an unrealistic standard. We recreate them. We package them, and without their permission we put them on a pedestal and create demigods expecting that every aspect of their lives or beings would reflect all that is NOBLE, all that is GOOD…and when they disappoint, oh when they disappoint. Society, we don’t just believe that they deserve a good ‘tail washing,’ we believe that they ought to be dissipated, and shunted off into the fiery furnace of hell. We openly crucify them. Now is this really fair?
When they disappoint, we debate the responsibility they owed to their country. We debate the responsibility they owed to their families. We debate the responsibility they owed to the children and the people who believed in them. We fail to realize that they are after all not superhuman. They are human beings, just like each and every one of us. We fail to realize that commitment, dedication, and excellence may not be resolute in every aspect of that person’s life. He or she may be a good golfer, basketball player, sprinter, or football player, but does this mean that he is a good person? We fail to separate the individual from what he or she has accomplished. We forget that apart from the sporting prowess, success, fame or glory, that again that the individual is after all human, a mere mortal.
When they are at their best, we love them. We revere them. They are simply golden. They are our heroes and sheroes. They are the wind beneath our wings. We enshrine them in our homes and in our lives. We feel a kinship to them. We create an ideal of who we think they are, or ought to be, when this should not be the case, however when they disappoint us… what do we do? We cast them aside. We berate them. We scoff at them. We trample them.
We cast them off, because somehow we hold them at a different and much higher standard. We don’t thank them for being an inspiration, and let them ride off into the sunset with whatever dignity or grace that they have left. We bash them and we trash them. Again, I ask is this really fair? Surprisingly, many of us may answer yes, because we take it personally. How dare this person build up our dreams, and then dash them? How dare this person embarrass a nation? How dare this person…? The list goes on. Rarely do we ask, how dare this person do this to him or her, and the times that we do, it is most certainly in reference to the destruction of an illustrious career or a fall from grace.
When they disappoint us, the first thing we think is, “Look at how he has disappointed the children.” As a child, I recall viewing several interviews conducted with the former basketball player, now sports commentator Charles Barkley ‘Sir Charles,’ and he explicitly stated that he did not think that it was his responsibility to be a role model for the children. He said that he was just a basketball player. He said that being a role model was the parents’ job, not his. I recall the outrage. This is an issue that has been debated, and will always be debated, but there is some truth to what Barkley said.
He was simply Charles Barkley who excelled in the sport of basketball, and did not want the responsibility of being a being a ‘role model’ imposed up on him. There are those however who disagree with ‘Sir Charles’ and may say that once one is in the public eye it is his or her responsibility to be a ‘role model’ or he or she ought to be held to a higher standard. It comes with the Territory. Society has ordained it. Should this be the case? I still question this.
As parents I think that we ought to have that talk. Instead of saying to our children, “I want you to be like Kim Collins, Kobe Bryant, Serena Williams, Michael Vick or Michael Phelps,” simply highlight the talent, and not the individual. Say, “I want you be a good sprinter like Kim Collins. He has trained very hard to accomplish what he has.” As parents we need to focus on being an example for our children rather than trying to pluck a role model or someone who we think that our child should ‘look up to,’ from the television.
We don’t know these people. We don’t know what their daily lives are really like. We might have seen the features on ESPN about how this individual had achieved success, but that person’s entire life, journey, dreams, faults, or shortcomings cannot all be captured in a television special. How many of us are still in shock at the Tiger Woods fiasco? Some of us still have not recovered. It shattered life as some of us knew it.
Tiger Woods had a squeaky clean image. He was the golden boy. He was the ideal a family man. He was a symbol of all that was noble and good…but then we realized that this was not the case. This is evidence in itself that we ought to look at the individual for his or her talent. We ought to look at what he or she has achieved, and not the image or ideal that we have created. This is how and why we get disappointed, because our expectations do not match up to the reality.
I have been following the recent developments with regards to the SKNOC and Kim Collins Olympic fiasco, in this entire melee; I am asking that we don’t cast Kim aside. The chastisement isn’t necessary. The incident has happened, and action has been taken. Let’s allow Kim to take a bow. Let’s give him the applause that he so rightfully deserve, and allow him to exit stage left with grace. I am by no means condoning his alleged actions, but at the same time I am not ready to forget everything that Kim has used his talent to accomplish not only for himself but for St. Kitts and Nevis.
We couldn’t do it. We didn’t do it. He did! Many of us are now questioning his patriotism. His statement was viewed as traitorous, even treasonous. How could he make a statement such as the one he did? This is what we are asking. Have we thought that this statement might have been made in anger, as he is after all a human being? This is just a question. Why weren’t we questioning his patriotism when he represented our nation? Why weren’t we questioning his arrogance or behavior when he was winning for us? Again, these are just questions that I am asking.
All I am asking at this time is that we not forget that a few years ago when he crossed that finish line and he was declared world champion that we held our chests a little higher. Let’s not forget that there was an extra ‘pep’ in our step. Our smiles widened. Our flags were raised. We were all proud to be natives of St. Kitts and Nevis. Let’s not forget that a few years ago he was our own “hero.” We placed him on stamps. We named a road after him. He even got his own day. We created a demigod.
Now that he has caused disappointment, here we are with pitch forks, ready to shunt him in the fiery furnace of hell. Does he deserve this? Is this fair? Let’s just say, “thank you. It has been a great run. It is unfortunate that it had to end like this. We are grateful for what you have done for us. God’s speed Kim Collins.” Let’s simply remember that although he is a great athlete, who has accomplished great things that he is after all simply human.
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