Duggie, eight years of age, came to school one day with his arm in a gigantic cast. His teacher asked him what had happened and he replied: “I fell down in the backyard and broke it.” It seemed as if Duggie did not want to extend the conversation, but when pressed by the teacher about why the cast had to be so large, he said: “Oh, that’s because I broke it in a few places.” The teacher thought how strange it was that he suffered such a severe injury from a simple fall in the backyard. Just to add, eight-year-olds are usually resilient.
Sam, four years of age, did not want to sit down when one of his preschool teachers requested that he did. It was as if he was in a lot of pain. The teacher called the nurse at a nearby clinic so that she could examine Sam. The nurse found a saltfish-cake-shaped burn on his bottom. When asked how it happened, Sam replied: “I don’t remember.” The nurse thought it strange that Sam could not remember what happened when he was obviously in pain.
As the Bobo Dread left the yard of the last house he visited, while trying to sell bobo-broom and cane, he wondered to himself how people could possibly live that way. There were three filthy, unkempt small children - Pam, E’Naarppy and Labouroy - eating some lumpy corn porridge while their eyes were fixed upon a blaring television set. He chastised himself for his poor judgment. That family certainly didn’t look like it could afford a dust cloth, let alone a bobo-broom or a soft and juicy bobo-cane.
Sean thought Marcella, one of his classmates, was just beautiful, albeit a little shy. They were both fourteen years old. He finally mustered up the courage to go over and talk to her. He asked her if she would like to go with him to the school dance next Friday night. Marcella shrunk back from him as if she were terrified and whispered that she couldn’t possibly go. She added, apologetically, that her mother worked on Friday nights and her “daddy” on those nights always take her to the movies. That just struck Sean as being cold. However, he wasn’t up to fighting with her parents. Marcella was cute, but she wasn’t the only girl in the school.
The above vignettes I have presented illustrate children who are being abused. There are a number of ways in which children can be abused – Physically, Neglect and Sexually.
Let us first address Physical Abuse. According to Kadushin and Martin, it is defined as “beating a child to the point at which the child sustains some physical damage”. However, they continue that in reality there often is a very fine line between physical abuse and parental discipline. You and I know that here in St. Kitts-Nevis parents have the right to bring up their children as they see fit, which I must admit is slowly changing. This includes administering punishment to curb behaviour when it is necessary to do so. I now asked this question: “A father who beats his twelve-year-old daughter on her buttocks with a belt because her grades significantly dropped over the last school term, and having received the beating her grades improved the next term. Is that his right or is it child abuse?”
Secondly, Child Neglect, which is difficult to define. I also realized that neglect involves the absence of resource instead of the presence of something which is negative. As we all know, every social environment is different. When does a family environment cease being adequate and instead display neglect? According to Wolock and Horowitz, it is define as “the failure of the child’s parent or caretaker, who has the material resources to do so, to provide minimally adequate care in the areas of health, nutrition, shelter, education, supervision, affection or attention”.
I believe that two of the most frequent aspects of neglect in St. Kitts-Nevis are deprivation of necessities and inadequate supervision. I think whereas child abuse involves harming a child through actions, child neglect concerns causing the child harm by not doing what is necessary. I also think that neglect occurs when children are not given what they need to survive and thrive. This includes children’s need for supervision. Leaving them all alone in the house like the case of Pam, E’Naarppy and Labouroy, or going to the Strip at Frigate Bay or Cloud Nine to party and have the children at home by themselves is child neglect. I strongly believe that children need someone to be there for them, to direct them, care for them, support their daily activities such as going to school, and also to give them emotional support.
Finally, let’s address Sexual Abuse. Children are easy victims for such abuse, because of the anxiety most people harbor about sexuality in general, they have little information about sex. They have limited life experience upon which to base judgments. Thus, they can easily be misled and tricked. Children are small compared to adults and are easily intimidated. Incest in our country is a particular form of sexual abuse. These worthless adults, in some ways, are godlike to children. They tell them what to do and when to go to bed, among other things. The children are oriented toward obeying and most likely want to please these worthless adults who control their access to being loved, having food and shelter, and feeling safe.
I strongly feel that we need to protect our children from these worthless people, and the ideal way of dealing with sexual abuse is to prevent it from happening. I believe that information and education are keys to prevention. The children are our future leaders and if we abuse them we also abuse our future. I believe that children should be taught that their bodies are their own and that they have private places where no one can force them to be touched. I believe that children are to learn correct sexual terminology such as vagina instead of ‘apple’ and penis instead of ‘banana’.
I also believe that the lines of communication between parents and children should be encouraged and kept open. Children should be able to feel free that they can share things with their parents, including the things that bother them. In the event that children are placed in a potentially abusive situation, may it be physical, neglect or sexual, they need to be encouraged and to be able to tell someone without fear of reprisal.
