BASSETERRE, St. Kitts – SHE grew up having him as a father figure. She even thought he was her biological father, but her world came crumbling when that man – who claimed that he would never harm her – raped her several times over a one-year period.
Becky (not her real name) is between the age of 45 and 55 years and to this day – as she told this publication – she could recall the ghastly details of how that man, her mother’s husband, preyed upon her, drained her of all her innocence and left her with wounds that have yet not healed.
She told SKNVibes that her mother was one who travelled often for work, and when she would travel her husband would be charged with the responsibility of caring for her.
And even though she was only eight, the memories are branded on her mind.
“…One day, I saw a hand in a black glove was coming into the window and I shouted, ‘Daddy, daddy, daddy.’ He took about 10 minutes before he came to my bedroom. He comforted me. It happened a second time and I called for him again, and he took a long time again. It is only later that I realised it was him.
“He tried to comfort me saying that things are going to be alright. Then he started touching me and I jumped and he kept saying, ‘Daddy will not do anything to hurt you.’ I began crying and he kept saying he would not do anything to hurt me. He went to get some juice for me and when he came back, he raped me. It happened about two times before my mother came back. He used to even take me in my mother and his bedroom to rape me.”
As if that were not horrifying enough, Becky said, “He brought his son and wanted his son to rape me too.”
Becky – now a woman with children of her own – said the threats she received from her mother’s husband prevented her from reporting the incidents, but she worked up the courage to do so after her mother had returned from one of her trips. However, her mother’s response to her complaint aided the proliferation of Becky’s nightmare.
“And when she came back, I decided to say something to her. She saw me walking funny and she was asking me why I was behaving in a strange manner and why I was so quiet. I was already a quiet child but I was even more withdrawn…I wasn’t talking at all. She would beat me and tell me to speak up.
“So I told her, ‘Daddy is touching me.’ She asked me what I meant by that. So I told her he was touching me ‘down there’ and I explained to her. She slapped me and told me to stop lying. And every time my mother went overseas, he would remind me that my mother doesn’t believe me and would never believe me. So he continued to rape me for months. If I wanted to go out and play, he would tell me to come and play with him first.”
A neighbour, with a keen eye and who Becky had trusted, got her to break the silence on the attacks being perpetrated by the paedophile.
“One day, after he was finished with me, I went over by the neighbour to play with my friend and her mother asked me what happened to me because she said she realised there was something strange about me for a while. I told her nothing was wrong. She told me I could talk to her, and after she promised me that I can talk to her, I opened up and spoke to her and told her what happened.
“She called the police and I stayed by her. When he came home, he opened the door and went inside and then he came outside to look for me and he was met by the police. He told them I was lying. And when they took me to the hospital and the examinations were done, it was found that I was not lying. They even found his semen inside of me.”
Becky’s rapist was subsequently jailed in excess of 12 years and, although that case was closed, the psychological and physical damage continue to manifest from time to time.
“Because of the damage, they told me I probably couldn’t get children, but thankfully I was able to get. I went through with the pain and suffering of these memories for years and I never told anybody. Later in life, I was abused by a man who I had a family with and it was very hard for me. I felt like I was reliving the same thing I went through when I was eight.
“Up to this day I do not trust anybody, all because of what this man did to me. My mother and I do not have much of a relationship to the point where she told me that I am not her daughter and that she didn’t want to see me ever again. And up to this day, if I talk about it, she would get really upset. So now I just say nothing. It has affected me in relationships because I do not trust anybody.
Reminiscing on the hurt she experienced, the suffering she continues to endure, and with tears welled up in her eyes, Becky urged mothers and fathers to heed the cries of their children…be they silent or openly done.
“I am begging mothers, when you daughters or sons come to you, please, please listen. Don’t let them be a victim like me because I am still suffering up to today, because of what happened to me as a child. So mothers, please listen.”
*Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I’m not at home in my own home
And I’ve tried and tried to say what’s on my mind
You should have known*
*Excerpt from Beyonce’s Listen*
