BASSETERRE, St. Kitts - GONE are the days when parents looked to their community for assistance in the raising of their children; gone are the days when one parent could depend on another to look after their children in their absence; and gone are the days when it took a village to raise a child.
One principal has opened up on the topic and declared that the twin-island Federation of St. Kitts and Nevis needs to go back to the “old time way of raising children”, as the new way is just not cutting it.
SKNVibes spoke recently with Principal of the Bronte Welsh Primary School, Anthony Wiltshire who spoke passionately on the issue.
Wiltshire said that with today's economy, some parents spend more and more time working, which leaves them with less time to spend caring for their offspring, thus leaving them in their own care. He also said that as a result, the children suffer.
He further said that some parents have moved so far from the "it takes a village to raise a child" mantra that teachers are no longer able to speak to or discipline children outside of school hours.
"It is no longer 'it takes a community to raise a child', because parents are saying, 'Hands off, you don't say this to my child, you don't say that to my child.' And a result, the task is becoming more difficult. The children are not doing their homework, for example. We know that [in the old days] even though parents, some of them, because they didn't get the opportunity to go to school because of whatever, they were unable to go to the level of education that they would have liked, but they were involved in their children.
"I know a Sandy Pointer, a grandmother. She could not read, she told you she could not read but when the grandchild came home she perused the books. She looked for ticks, she looked for x, and as a result she was able to monitor what was going on with her grandchild, but that has changed.
"I don't know if it is because life has gotten so complicated and parents are out doing two jobs and that kind of thing that they don't find time for their children. As a result, the children are raring themselves and that makes the teachers' task more difficult.”
When asked what could be done to assist those parents, Wiltshire said that enrolling the children in extra classes or seeking help from the community could be done but, in the end, it would have to be the parents who make the decision as to what would work best for them.
"They would have to work out their maths as people say. Perhaps the children would need to go to an extra class here and there. You cannot tell them that they can't do their two jobs, because they cannot survive unless it is done in most cases. So I am not advocating that they shut down a job and then you can't feed your children. But then you would have to make the time too. Say, ‘Well...somebody has to monitor my child.’ You live by Mr. X, you ask Mr. X to monitor the child.
"So you as a parent must seek help, you can't just stay aloof and hands off and say well I'm working therefore whatever happens to my child happens. That can't work! You must look for the resources that can assist your child, whether it be the child go by somebody else, or you must. At the same time, yes, you're doing two jobs but you must find some period where you spend with your child or children otherwise you're going to lose them. So there must be a compromise in some way.”
He said there are parents in his community who would send their children to him for assistance with their homework and other assignments, which is another option for the parents as they could seek help from an educator.
Wiltshire said that in the yesteryears grandparents were at home to assist where the parents could not, but that again is no more as these days the grandparents are out in the work field as well.
He also spoke on the issue of running a single-parent home. He said that with one parent running the household, it makes the job of bringing up the children much more difficult and, in some cases, leaves the parent having to work two or more jobs to make ends meet.
Wiltshire said that in such situations there is very little connection being made between parent and child and also, in some cases, leaves the child to parent him or herself.
“So, this is where the comrades come back in. In that you can't afford to be an island by yourself anymore, so when Jenny goes to work Jenny has children and somebody must be able to oversee those children. Imagine you going to work! You have to get up early to reach the Industrial Site for 7:30 per say, so the children wake up...no mother. When they go home at 3:30/4:00 they are alone until maybe 8:00. You reach home, you are tired. So where is the connection?
"So, this is where the complication comes in because less time is being spent with our children. And because of the economy we have to work so hard and work so long, we don't have the time to spend with our children.
“When we do come home we are tired, frustrated and angry, and instead of spending quality time with our children, we don't want to see them. It's 'boy get out me way, girl get out me way'. And you know, sometimes the expletives...and there you go.”
He went on to explain that these types of situations trickle down into the schools and the children sometimes become introverts and the problem escalates.
With regards to some of the men now imprisoned, Wiltshire said that they were victims of the same situation, having taught a number of them. "I actually saw it from that early stage that if there wasn't intervention, its where they were going. So that is where we are right now."
He said it all leads back to the old age saying, "It take a village to raise a child", which, he indicated could happen but with drastic measures and reform.
"It would take drastic measures, it would take reform but it can happen. Some of our parents need help! And how can we help them? We have been suggesting for years that the Ministry of Education partner with the Industrial Site for example, and maybe once per quarter they close down in the afternoon maybe from 1:00 p.m. to 3:30 p.m./4:00 p.m. and the parents report to the Basseterre High School or to a community centre for parenting sessions.
"Someone speaks to them on how to be better parents or maybe get another skill that they can use. They could also look at strengthening the PTAs that people outside would come into the schools to relay to these parents whether they're going to be teaching them a skill or just talk to them about how to improve their parental role.
"It is no longer we just sit back and say that we don't know, but rather what are we doing to assist them. So the school community, the Ministry of Education, the Department of Social Affairs etc, all of us must come together and come up with solutions because there is a problem and if we don't intervene now, we are going to lose everything," Wiltshire said.
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